Barbara Osterman
Measuring Your Leadership Effectiveness . . .
One Conversation at a Time
By: Barbara Osterman, for Business Strategies Magazine, June 2005
Your leadership effectiveness can be measured by the quality of the conversations you are having, on both the content and the dynamics levels. Do people leave conversations with you feeling better, not worse; more committed to the project and the company, not less?
Why is this important? Because people’s level of effort is discretionary. The fact is that people expend discretionary effort based on how they feel. And it is you who has the primary effect on how they feel – through your conversations.
The leader’s role is to create an environment for people to excel. Period. An environment of trust that leads to more risk-taking, innovation and creativity. Successful leaders know that the success of their organization depends on trusting relationships built on a foundation of respectful listening.
Measure the effectiveness of your conversations and you measure the effectiveness of your leadership.
Making Ineffective Conversations Effective
We’ve all had ineffective conversations. We walk away knowing that there is more to be spoken, that it was not all put on the table. We wonder what others were really thinking, or more likely, we attribute intents and interpretations to their words.
The two biggest stumbling blocks to effective conversations are (1) focusing on your message only, and (2) focusing on the content only.
(1) Shift Your Delivery so Your Message is Received. As leaders we’re accustomed to focusing on what we want to say to others, on how we want to say it, on what forums to use. What else is there to focus on? The audience! When we do not focus on the receiver(s) of our message, we send the same message, in the same way, to whomever we are addressing. We may not even recognize our different audiences’ communication preferences, or their basic issues that we need to address. Shifting our focus off of ourselves and onto our receivers is critical. A related necessary shift is from telling to asking. Have you noticed that leaders tend to make declarative statements? It’s ok, even necessary, to ask questions of others. Diversify your approach. Ask open-ended clarifying questions to stimulate the thinking and clarity of all involved.
(2) Focus on Content and Dynamics. Leaders are also accustomed to focusing solely on the logical, analytical content of an issue. While this is necessary, it is insufficient for results. When barriers arise, they generally exist in the realm of dynamics.
Communications become blocked resulting in misunderstandings, trust is reduced, or differing expectations become apparent.
When unaddressed, they may become the ‘elephant in the room’ which everyone is aware of, but to which no one refers. Leaders must be proficient first in recognizing dynamics issues within conversations, and then in addressing and resolving them. This requires two often-overlooked leadership competencies, self-awareness and managerial courage.
Effective Conversation Outcomes
How do you measure your leadership effectiveness via your conversations? Some questions to ask yourself (and others):
- Do people leave the conversation with you feeling that they’ve been heard?
- Are the underlying barriers to progress able to be addressed?
- Are you as focused on what the other has to say and is feeling, as you are on yourself? (This is a big one)
- Who takes most of the airtime in conversations?
- Do you ask effective open-ended questions to probe where others stand, both from an opinion standpoint and an emotional one?
What are you looking for in effective conversations?
- All parties walk away satisfied that their views and feelings have been
heard. A decision may not have gone their way, but they are satisfied
that their input was valued.
- You, as leader, focus on the opinions and positions of others. You seek to understand their reasons for their stance and any barriers that need to be addressed.
- You, as leader, address the underlying dynamics present during a conversation, to get to the heart of issues and resolve them. People leave these conversations engaged and energized.
As a result, the solutions created and the results obtained exceed expectations. Solutions are more creative and powerful than any one person could have come up with. Results flow naturally, since all parties to the conversation take ownership for implementation. As David Whyte said, “The conversation is not about the work; the conversation is the work.”